Beyond the cliche of “you never get a chance to make a second impression”, why should you care enough about first impressions to read an entire book on it? Ann Demarais, Ph.D. and Valerie White, Ph.D., authors of “First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You” make a clear case for why you should care throughout the book. For me, one of the most important reasons is explained in the first chapter. First impressions are the most lasting. They count more heavily in someone’s mind for much longer and take multiple exposures and experiences to change. Do you want this lasting impression to be a good one or a negative one? The rest of the book takes you piece by piece through every part of the impression you are making and how to make the most out of it.
If you only get one lesson out of this book, it’s to know to keep your negative and reactive emotions under control. Someone who meets you on a bad day, when you’ve dealt with work issues, family problems and an upset tummy, isn’t going to know that your sour face is unusual. They won’t see the situation behind the expressions and words that you are using. I have met thousands of people during the hundreds of networking events I have attended in the last seven years. While I’ve gotten past many bad first impressions, there are still plenty of people who left me with the idea that they were cranky, complainers or otherwise unpleasant when probably all they were having was a bad day.
The authors, who have a business that works with clients from consultants for Fortune 100 company managers, go much deeper into what you need to do besides be nice to make the best first impression. From accessibility to knowing what to say how soon to the potentially touchy topic of sex appeal, Ms. Demarais and White are thorough, scientific and practical.
As a networking expert, the part I find the most interesting is the chapter on the “Four Universal Social Gifts.” If this is the bare minimum you get from reading “First Impressions” you can only improve your networking and the impression that you make on others.
This is a book full of practical, usable and tested advice on seeing how others see you and adjusting that image to reflect the best possible vision of the real you.
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What Don't You Know About the Way Others See You? A Book Review of First Impressions
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